Error Pages, The Fail Whale, and why even when things go wrong you can make right

I use the web. A lot. So, in my surfing I often come across error pages, page not found, server not found, etc. messages. Often I find these to be very annoying. First, something has gone wrong, and since I am not going to blame myself I am going to blame your website.

Now although you, as a website owner, have little control over certain error messages that will reach your audience, such as can't reach the server (if the browser can't reach your server, there is no way your server can send a cute error message), there are pages that you can control, and by all means, control them.

This is important so I'm going to give it its own line:

Any message your users get from your site should let them know how important they are to you.

Any message, even those on your error pages, especially your error pages. Something went wrong and the user is going to assume it was your fault (I know, sometimes it really wasn't your fault, sometimes the user typed something in wrong, but they are going to assume it is your fault so just let them, remember the customer is always right).

So in the midst of telling them "oops" give them something else fun to look at (think of the fail whale or this cat)- suggest another page for them to try or simply give them another page to look at. Whatever you do, make sure it just overflows with your voice, your brand, your mission. Are you a news site? Say whoops and then include a feed of the latest or most popular news of the day. Are you a recipe site? give them a picture of a delicious chocolate cake with a link to that recipe instead. Selling something? Show them your best sellers. Make them forget that what you are giving them isn't what they thought they wanted.

Divert their attention from the fact that your site isn't quite working the way they want, and put your best foot forward.

Bounce Rate Breakthrough

Today I'm on jury duty, and so in my vast amount of time sitting around with (and without) my computer, I've been doing some heavy thinking.

I've come up with a theory about improving bounce rates that may revolutionize the web as I know it.

More to come.

The Reasons StumbleUpon Advertising is Ineffective

I think StumbleUpon would like to make all stumblers believe that it is advertising-free, and that the way in which you come across the sites in the database is completely serendipitous, but it simply isn't true.

Now, I'm not knocking the StumbleUpon folks for using adverts, they have to make money just like the rest of us, but the way in which the adverts are displayed is a little sneaky, and a lot ineffective.

For just pennies a view, you can pay StumbleUpon to show your web page to stumblers; you choose the number of views you want a day, and the categories for which you want the ads to show.

The problem is, as a user, I find it very easy to spot the ads. This is simply because stumble allows too many pages from one advertiser to be shown to a user per day.

I stumble a lot, and so sometimes during one day of stumbling I'll come across pages from the same advertiser three or four times. Different pages, mind you, but pages boring and not stumble-worthy enough to keep coming up. I've stumbled enough to know what is interesting enough to sift to the top of the stumble community, and these ads are not it. A parenting site, a crafty blog/site, and a womens magazine are among the most common culprits.

Now, I would appreciate it if stumble simply made a notation on these pages that they were ads, and didn't try to parade them as random acts of stumble, but I know that advertisers want to try and blend in with the usual stuff and would probably reject that idea.

So maybe instead Stumble could limit the number of ads from one advertiser that are shown to a user per day, or maybe Stumble could have a tiny sidebar that is always open that displays "similar" pages to the page you are on that are all sponsored - I could get into that.

Whatever the solution, the current system doesn't work (and I'm too cheap to pay for a stumble account to avoid the ads) and I doubt that it works for many of the advertisers who flood the stumble system with similar boring pages.

The Best Internet April Fools' Day Jokes

I always enjoy a good prank on April Fools' Day, although rarely pull any myself for fear of insulting someone or getting myself into trouble. Reflecting upon a few of yesterday's jokes, I thought I'd share some of my favorite April Fools' Day jokes from the web.

1. Google. Each year Google does its best to make us laugh, and usually it works. Yesterday's introduction of Autopilot and CADIE was one of my all time favorites (read more about the round-the-world google hoaxes, including using thousands of pigeons to collect google maps data). Other google favorites include pigeon rank and google gulp.

2. Sitepoint let everyone know that the Internet was going to reboot - hold on to your hats!

3. Familylink used its facebook app, we're related, to let millions of users know that Barack Obama had confirmed them as a fourth cousin.

4. ThinkGeek makes up stuff, SqueezeBacon, Unicorn Chaser, and even a USB pet rock.

5. Woot offered a bag of random crap for the unbeatably low shipping price of 1 million dollars.

6. Youtube's videos were upside down (although this sort of counts as google).

7. Reddit made itself look like digg, calling the redesign a "long overdue update"

8. The Guardian moves completely to a twitter platform.

9. Pirate Bay is purchased by Warner Bros.

10. UCSD students who were rejected from college get a "congratulations" email (oh wait, that wasn't an april fools' day joke, but just an unfortunate accident).

How to Send Files Without the Internet

Now, rarely am I in a situation where I'm not online, but every so often it happens. Yesterday I needed to send a file from a friend's laptop to my desktop but we were without wireless. Since I wrote the other day about converting word docs into PDF - I thought I'd share another handy and often forgotten feature, bluetooth. No, bluetooth isn't some horrible dental affliction, it is actually a handy way for devices to talk to each other. In some cases, you can use bluetooth to send files without the web.

If you are using a mac, your bluetooth icon will be in the upper right corner of your screen, it is the "B" like symbol in the picture above. Click on this and choose "send file." You'll then get the option to choose a file to send. Once your file is chosen you'll have to find the device to send it to (the other computer has to have bluetooth enabled for this to work) and your bluetooth screen will show you all bluetooth enabeled devices within range (the other computer or device really needs to be in the same room).
Tip: If names of specific computers don't show up right away (sometimes it'll just say "laptop computer") give it a few seconds, usually it is just reading for a name.

You may then need someone (or yourself) at the other computer to accept the file you are sending (this prevents people from sending you malicious things via bluetooth).

File transfer is pretty quick depending on the computer - so within a minute or two you should be all set.

How to Convert a Word Doc into a PDF

I've been told that it is possible to convert a word doc into a PDF on a mac, but somehow whenever I need to do that I forget and end up using indesign or something fancy instead.

Today I re-discovered this PDF conversion trick taught to me by many a co-worker and friend over my mac lifetime, so I'd like to share it.

To convert your word doc into PDF open the document in word. Hit "file>print" and you'll see the printing options screen. On the lower left of that screen is a "PDF" button drop down. Choose "save as PDF" and then pick a name.

It is so easy I feel foolish always forgetting this option - I even almost used a paid online pdf converter - yikes!.

Ways to Make Your Sad Mac Happy

So, my laptop is a couple years old (I think it had its second birthday in October) and until a month ago I'd never had a problem with it. I never knew a mac could be so sad as what I saw in early december, when mine starting making this strange chirp as it would shut off (not when I asked it to, but all on its own). It was the sound of something going horribly wrong (as I'd heard this same phenomenon described by a few friends a coworkers) and could only mean one thing; the hard drive.

The mac geniuses (I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, the repair guys are called geniuses), gave me a new hard drive (and even a new keyboard cover as mine was doing that cracking thing that a lot of macbooks do), and I thought I was home free.

Well, the holidays came and I didn't use the macbook much, so when I picked it up last night to start re-installing all of my old programs (some of which I should write about) I expected everything to go smoothly and it did - for a while.

After twenty minutes I heard that familiar swan song, the chirp and shut off. Then I tried to turn it on again and it gave me the new equivalent of the sad mac, the file folder icon with a question mark (the computer is telling you "what hard drive?").

Anywho, needless to say I was worried, and I spent the better part of today working on an ulcer thinking about how I could make my sad mac happy (I already bought it a new hard drive, I'd given it lavish software gifts, I adorned it with only the softest of laptop cases and used it for only the most important of emails and ims - what more could a mac want?).

So I called Apple, and we went through that old song and dance (does it have power, did I download a macro virus, can I read or write), my genius even had me boot it up PC style (you know, black screen, lots of code) and type in some codes.

After an hour or so of sometimes sad mac, sometimes regular mac, my genius figured it out. My mac was sad because when it got a new hard drive, no one told it how to start again (I guess a mac with a new hard drive would be the equivalent of a person with a new brain - so sometimes you have to teach them things they once knew). So all I had to do was tell it which version of OS X to use to start - and it did - and it was happy.